• shellypamensky

Only Love is real

These words stuck in my mind many years ago when I read the book so titled by Dr Brian Weiss. The book was a deep dive into the notion of soulmates and past life regression. Souls encountering one another perpetually through many reincarnations. When I was younger I so wanted to believe in this notion of “the one”. Who would he be, where would I find him, how would I know? The person who would make me feel whole and be my other half.

"Let's enjoy today", oil on canvas with collaged glitter writing, 50"x40"

After the first time I believed myself to be in love, I attributed soulmate star status to this man, so when the relationship (that in reality never stood a chance to survive) failed, I was left feeling puzzled and confused. Does that mean my soulmate had slipped away and I wasn’t destined to live my days by his side, or had I misjudged and he wasn’t my soulmate after all and the real one was still coming?

While I was pregnant with my first born, my father died unexpectedly. According to him I was the soul through which he experienced the world “his spirit” he called me. I experienced the deepest sadness when he died and felt my whole world had been shifted and irreversibly changed. The one thing that kept me grounded was my pregnancy. I was really nervous to become a mother and meet my unknown baby. The morning of her birth I was uncontrollably nervous. I felt like I was meeting my maker, someone who would teach me about myself and challenge me in new ways I had not known before. I was trembling when she was plucked out of me. After her screams and once over cleaning she was neatly bundled and gently placed upon my chest. I was still shaking when I felt a blanket of calm spread over me like I had never experienced before. I felt a deep connection to her that just relaxed me and a love so instant it took me by surprise. I really was not expecting anything like that to happen. It felt like a soulful connection, upon reflection perhaps my first real one. Maybe this was a case of my father’s spirit revisiting me in my newborn.

After another failed relationship with someone I misconceived to be “the one” I re-evaluated my notions of love, the one and soulmates. That is to say I realised there is more than one chance to be in love and after love there will be a chance to love again. That we can learn more of what we need based on past experience, or at least clarify what we do not want. That you should strive to be a whole person. If you are half empty vessel looking for a partner to fill the remaining empty space that can be a rather disappointing encounter. A one plus one scenario is a far more winning combination than two halves trying to become one.

I also realised that soulful relationships can come in many forms all which can involve very deep rooted connections, be it friends, family or a romantic union. I don’t know if I believe we have met these souls before and will continue to re-encounter them in future lives and manifestations, but I think you can feel strong connections in the life we have now. It is difficult to explain why some connections are so strong and sudden as if you’ve always known each other, other than alluding to past lives, but as we mature, we can come to realise that it is those connections that become the most important thing we can have and experience. That’s why I believe “ONLY LOVE IS REAL” . For at the end of our days and upon refection it won’t be what we have or what we have done that matters but rather who we have shared our lives with and loved and what we have experienced with them. So we should enjoy today with the ones that matter the most to us in this life we have been given.

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